my mom went to high school with jamie lee curtis and one time they both got caught smoking pot together and jamie told the teacher it was my mom’s and my mom was suspended and jamie lee got no punishment so think about that next time you want some activia

the laxative yogurt lady fucked over my mom

(via malikmydick)

(Source: rxyalty, via tessaladnow)



if you date me we will have:

  • morning sex
  • afternoon sex
  • dinner sex
  • after meal sex
  • i made pancakes sex
  • good morning sex
  • shower sex
  • bored sex
  • make up sex
  • monday sex
  • tuesday sex
  • wednesday sex
  • thursday sex
  • friday sex
  • saturday sex
  • sunday sex
  • there is nothing on tv sex
  • i love you sex

while ”watching movies” sex too

an autobiography

(Source: channiall, via igocrazydoe)

(Source: sandandglass, via kissmytwerkingass)


Steal His Look: Chief of Ferguson Police Department

Cashmere racist suede white t-shirt - 462.56$

Versace Limited Edition pig mask - 612.40$

All-purpose steel garbage can - 14.99$

(via kissmytwerkingass)


a strong female character is one who is defined by her own characteristics, history and personality, and not solely by the actions or needs of other characters. she is a person in the story, not a prop. x

(Source: pastelmichaels, via justasweird)

"One night you sleep 14 hours, the next you sleep 2.
And it’s all due to sadness."

- I’m so exhausted (via black—lamb)


This perfectly summarizes why I love the Simpsons and hate Family Guy. 

(Source:, via kissmytwerkingass)

(Source:, via leekx)

(Source: jasonttodd, via kissmytwerkingass)